Deborah Tannen

You Were Always
Mom's Favorite!:
Sisters in Conversation Throughout Their Lives

You're Wearing THAT?:
Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation

I Only Say This Because
I Love You:
Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults

The Argument Culture:
Stopping America's War of Words

Talking from 9 to 5:
Women and Men at Work.

You Just Don't Understand:
Women and Men in Conversation

That's Not What I Meant!:
How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships


You Just Don't Understand:
Women and Men in Conversation

On the New York Times Best Seller list for nearly four years
Eight months at #1
Translated into 31 languages

A true cultural and intellectual phenomenon, this is the book that brought gender differences in ways of talking to the forefront of public awareness and catapulted Tannen onto the public stage.

As witty and entertaining as it is enlightening, this book shows why a woman and man can walk away from the same conversation with completely different ideas of what was said.  Because boys and girls grow up in different worlds of words, talk between men and women can be like cross-cultural communication.

The original source of the truism that men don't like to stop and ask for directions, this book is studded with lively examples of real conversations that will leave you wondering whether Tannen was hiding in your living room or the back seat of your car. Understanding what goes wrong in conversations between women and men provides tools to find a common language and strengthen relationships at work and at home.  You'll see why Tannen has received innumerable letters and emails saying, “Thank you for saving my marriage.”  
To read a brief article by Deborah Tannen about this book, click here.


“Deborah Tannen's groundbreaking book You Just Don't Understand improved male-female relationships about, oh, 100 percent.” Glamour

“Deborah Tannen combines a novelist's ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis. It is this that makes her an extraordinary sociolinguist, and her book such a fascinating look at that crucial social cement, conversation.” Oliver Sacks
“[A] refreshing and readable account of the complexities of communication between men and women [with] vivid examples and lively prose.” New York Times Book Review
“Tannen has a marvelous ear for the way real people express themselves, and a scientist's command of the inner structures of speech and human relationships ... A chatty, earnest, and endearing book that promises here-and-now rewards...” Los Angeles Times

“Utterly fascinating.” San Francisco Chronicle


Deborah Tannen You Just Don't Understand:  Women and Men in Conversation

Buy The Book:
Barnes & Noble
Find an Independent Bookseller Near You

Also Available:
Abridged audio version read by the author


Foreign Editions:
Argentina, Vergara
Brazil, Nova Cultural
Bulgaria, Agata

China, Liping
Czechoslovakia, Mlada Fronta
Croatia, Izvori
Denmark, Munksgaard
Finland, Otava
France, Laffont
Germany, Kabel
Greece, Lichnos
Hungarian, Nyitott Konyvmuhely
Iceland, Almenna
Indonesia, PT Kentindo Soho
Japan, Kodansha
Japanese textbook, Eiho-sha
Korea, Korea Journalistic Information
Israel, Matar
Italy, Frasinelli
Norway, Cappelens
Netherlands, Prometheus
Poland, W.A.B.; Zysk i Ska
Portugal, Estrela polar

Romania, Editura Litera

Russia, Exmo

Saudi Arabia, Jarir
Slovenia, Cankareva Zalozba
Spain, Javier Vergara
Sweden, Wahlstrom & Widstrand

Taiwan, Yuan-Liou
Turkey, Varlik Yayinlari
United Kingdom, Virago

© 2009 Deborah Tannen