How came me to be here. the first part of that I just cannot tell you. tho I guess it was through the folly of my mother and father. that is the observation that I have figured out in these fifty odd years that I have put in this world. and you know that wise old chinese bird Confuscious said. he that goes to bed early to save candles. begets twins. (Now I was not A twin as one of my Calibre was enough). And you must remember that fifty years ago in Ark. they burnt Kerosene. Or tallow candles. so they might have been short on oil. or some other reason that I will not discuss at this time. the dr. was late (as usal) and I got here two days ahead of him. at home. Not at some highfalutin hospital. And A old granny Nigger woman. cut the gee string that turned me loose in this wide wicked world. spanked me and started me to Breathing (I sometimes think she was cross eyed and spanked me on the wrong end) and she also was the one that made the suggestion that I be put under A tub for A spell to see if I cried barked or swung by my tail. I cried and it was decided that I had advanced far enough from the stages of evolution to keep. My mother was proud of me I am sure tho I never had her tell me so. She died when I was young. I know that she was A very kind patient loving person very kind to dumb animals. or I would not be here today. There was three boys And one girl older than Me and my father was poor. as he was honest. And had no polotical pull. or rich relatives. and made his own welfare. by working. Them days it was not concidered grounds for A divorce for A mans wife to have A baby. and there was no such thing As incompatibility. which covers many many things. now days. about that time it was not considered old fashioned for A man to live with the same woman A few years. and if she produced seven head of children. she was considered incompatible. she never suffered no nervous tear down. that was unknown then. She had work to do. the washing and ironing for that bood. and the washing was done on one of them irish fiddle.s (by hand on a Rub board) the cooking to do. and it was not like it is today. when A couple gets Married. the husband buys A can opener and says honey we are ready to go to housekeeping. They hung A name on me (Stevens Carrel) that I throwed in the discards some years later. and I am sure you will not blame me for that. I had the name of doughBelly hung on me accidentally. and have worn that ever since. very few people know my name. everyone calls me doughBelly and other names that would not be allowed to go through the mail if I told you what they was. When I was A yearling my father decided to move. Not A big Job And not by request from the law. Or any persuasion of the ku kluz clan. but just decided to move. he just simply hitched the horses to the wagons. called the roll tobe sure that none of the brood was missing in action. put out the fire call the dags. and start. with almost no money at all. But you was not judged them days by the clothes you wore. or the big words that you used. or your bank account. he had none of either. And today at the age of ninty one he has about the same thing. minus the kids. that worry to some extent is off his tired old shoulders. Has never had his appendix cut out. his gall bladder removed. or his sewer line flushed.he has had the spring fever and cuckle burs between his toes that was not fatal or was not in his case. it took A year to make the trip. travel some till money run out. stop and work. and go again. when we landed in the lone star State. I was hobbled out on the commons. with my three older brothers and only sister to ride herd on me. I was not raised on gebhardts baby food. nor did I have my vitimans shot in my arm. I got that through the belly in the form of beef beans Sorghum molasses black eyed peas and corn pone. And plenty of good milk. Not homogenized pastuarized or fluemized. just pulled from the cow cooled and drank. Some of the cream was saved and when it clabbered it was put in the old Cedar churn. and spanked till it turned to butter. Not Oleo or nucoa. But butter. (cow salve as the cowpunchers called it when they had it to call) Never heard of a Vaccination needle. or A hypodermic shot. Never had the hurry me to Jesus. (hypolomitis) or any other of them Galloping diseases. had the itch chicken pox Measels and whopping cough and that was necessary to keep up to date. in them cases mother gave me A few doses of thedfords black draught. And I got so busy going to the two holer Delux fresh air special. that I forgot about being sick. out behind the barn it stood a hundred yards or more. and hurrying steps A path had made straight to its swinging door) James whitcomb Riley. In passing of the back house)in that way I growed up. for A few short years. wild as A jack rabbit. and as free as the wind in texas. and almost as unpredictable. But when I went too far in my conduct. Mr. price had A certain strap of leather that he was Proficient in its use, and after A dose of that on my Differential I did not do that very thing again. but it was something worse the next time. the time arrived to quick entirely fo me to go to school. hen the older boys died up A foot. sacked me out like A wild bronk. and put shoes on me and my happy carefree days was over. the three Rs i thought should mean Riding roping and Romping. But my School days was few and full of trouble. I finally manaegd to make the fourth grade. and My line of view and the teachers was not alike. we had A little argument. I pulled my knife and got slapped so hard by the teacher that it jarred my kinfolks in Ark. sent home and my school days was over. for I could not see where anyone need spend all that time if he could count cattle. But my Schooling had just started. My mother went to her great reward the spring i was A nine year old. And my father went to preaching. And in them days they did not have fine parsonages. and draw A big salary for peddiling the gospel. it was nt nessesary for them to have ten tailor made suits of clothes. And be oil and gas men. oil on the hair and gas on the stomach. It did not take them all week to write out the sermon for Sunday. they worked all day and slept at night. went to church on Sunday and preached the bible. nw they preach polotics. and take up a collection. so I was loose on my own again and in the spring of ninteen ten I joined my first wild west show. we eat when God killed and some of the time he was slow on the trigger. I have rode bronks all over the United States. some foreign countries. win the championship of the wouth west for saddle bronk riding at Las Vegas New Mexiro in july 1925. and went on to win the bare back championship of California that fall. Tho I don't remember much of the show whiskey was easy to get. that was about as much accident as me being in this world. just happened. I have been down in the bowels of mother earth hundreds of feet proging around Mining coal. have done almost every thing made rodeos or riding contests for fifteen years. what I did not win I stold if it come my way. and tried my best to make it come my way. when I got to old and lazy to do that I went to bootlegging. got caught and jailed. many times when I could not pay out I layed it out. one was slow the other sure. And I will say I have met some very fine men in jail. at least they was not trying to get their hand in your pocket. as they are trying to do all the time out side. them jail birds knew that there was nothing in the pocket. and did not need the practice.
I done my last jail sentence in Santa Fe New Mexico In 1929. federal. I some times get lonesome for them Bed bugs and oversize cockroaches. that was my cnstant companions. and An ever reminder that I had broke the law. And let me state here that I am just as Crooked as I ever was, But I am more careful. and at that I am no worse than some of these people that do just as bad as I ever did. But hide behind the lapel of justice. like an old boy that done A stretch in the federal instutution at leavenworth. he said he had his college diploma. and was not going back for no post graduate course.
Now that you have started this fool thing you had just as well go all the way I have done got your money. and there is no refund. and you will find in the back of this why I got into this business. and what I would like to do If I ever get the money. I hope you get A gigle. I got mine when I got your money.